


Revive

by Virtual_Reality



Series: Steve and Bucky through the years [21]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Pepper, BAMF Pepper Potts, Bodyguard, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Cuddling & Snuggling, Diary/Journal, Dog Tags, Drawing, Exhaustion, Fluff and Angst, Haircuts, Happy Hogan - Freeform, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Photographs, Protective Steve, Sketches, Sleep, Sleep Deprivation, Sleeping Together, Sleepy Bucky, Sleepy Cuddles, Stark Tower, Steve Feels, Very Secret Diary, full recovery, reintegration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 08:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3803947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Virtual_Reality/pseuds/Virtual_Reality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Uuuuggghhhh! Apologizing to 322 people today. I don't know why it's screwing with the format, but again, I apologize.</p><p>I suppose we just have to remember that this website is still in Beta, and we need to be patient with the glitches, and appreciate how truly lovely it already is.</p><p>Thanks for your patience today. It was my younger sister's birthday today, and I spent a lot of my time with her. :)</p><p>I'm pretty sure this is ready, but somehow it just seemed too easy... I've read through it, and it seemed fine to me... Huh. Easy is good.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Revive

**Author's Note:**

> Uuuuggghhhh! Apologizing to 322 people today. I don't know why it's screwing with the format, but again, I apologize.
> 
> I suppose we just have to remember that this website is still in Beta, and we need to be patient with the glitches, and appreciate how truly lovely it already is.
> 
> Thanks for your patience today. It was my younger sister's birthday today, and I spent a lot of my time with her. :)
> 
> I'm pretty sure this is ready, but somehow it just seemed too easy... I've read through it, and it seemed fine to me... Huh. Easy is good.

Steve thinks his heart stops in his chest when he first saw it, he knows it skips and flutters, but that can't be helped. Bucky, his Bucky, is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, fingering the set of silver dog tags that hung around his neck. His eyes are staring at his reflection, searching over his bare chest, the shock of silver metal against his skin, still marred with faded scars, and his pale blue eyes finally seem to see instead of merely taking notice. His face is clean shaven, his hair, now cut short, is brushed back into a perfect coif.

Steve, still in his uniform. Dirty, and bruised in red white and blue, steps behind Bucky, not touching him yet, but their eyes meet in the mirror.

Bucky looked like he'd had the weight of the world removed from his shoulders. Like the ghost in his eyes had vanished with his hair. He looked taller, lighter, stronger, happier.

In comparison, Steve looks like he's seen the sun for the first time in his life.

Steve had only been gone about four hours, but it felt like a lifetime since he'd seen Bucky, especially like this.

"I thought it was about time." Bucky whispered, and when he smiled, tight and unsure, Steve has to touch him. Has to know he's real. A hand between Bucky's shoulder blades tells him just that, and he has to move closer, run his fingers through his hair, lift his face, meet his eyes. Bucky's palms rest flat on Steve's chest, and that's where he then rests his head, letting out a slow, deep breath.

Their eyes meet in the mirror.

Bucky's hair had been loosened by Steve's fingers, and now proves to be longer than it was in the forties, still long enough to kiss his cheekbones, and probably tie back in the little bun he'd been sporting as of late, but it was perfect, cut short on the back and sides, but still enough to bury his hands in. Steve strokes his fingers through it, then hides his face, trying to contain his emotion.

"I needed a more professional look," James explains in a rush, suddenly unsure, "and when I found that picture of me in that box, we took that look and..." He looks at the mirror again, "Made it a little modern."

That box was a single, medium sized box of Bucky's possessions that had been salvaged, and kept in SHIELD custody, and had consequently fallen into Stark's hands when SHIELD was shut down. Steve doesn't know all the gory details, but he's glad to see a few of Bucky's old things - things that used to surround him every day. A couple records, a file of papers, drawings, medical records, a shoebox of small possessions - James' parents' wedding rings, his father's pocket watch, a dainty silver hand mirror that had belonged to his sister Alice, a set of silver dog tags, an old leather wallet, things like that. There was a radio, a couple newspapers, a few well loved books, and the worst - his diary - a diary that held the deepest and most intimate thought's he'd ever been able to gather the courage to write down. Beautiful words of a painful longing that James can only remember if he strains for the thoughts.

He frowns at the thought that who knows how many people had flipped through the tattered pages, reading the borderline erotic descriptions of the curve of Steve's lips, the shadow of his eyelashes, the sinful caress of his warm breath on James' chest, the line of his slim waist beneath Bucky's' palm, memory of cold fingers curled tightly around his own beneath the blankets. It felt too intimate to read, too private, even for James to read, to see Steve through his past self's eyes. To find the book so lewd when not a single description even hinted sex. Only the broken, unquiet love, that was poured out on these pages. There were pictures, sketches - Steve wasn't the only one who'd been to art school (Though Bucky wasn't afraid to say Steve was significantly more talented than he was.), but Steve had been much more comfortable with his desire than James was, and while Steve poured his struggle into his drawings, Bucky used the medium of written word to air his thoughts out.

"You're so beautiful." Steve whispers, interrupting his thoughts, fingers stroking through his hair.

Bucky only stared at his reflection, intensely. "We make a nice couple." Bucky whispers, and Steve looks back to the mirror, unfastens his helmet, and lifts it off, setting it on Bucky's head.

"I know."

Bucky stared at his reflection, before lifting the mask from his head, and placing it on the countertop. "I don't think I'll be wearing masks for a long time, Stevie." He whispered.

"Still," Steve kissed his forehead, "you're no damsel in distress."

"Not like you, eh?" Bucky smiled.

"We all need saving sometimes." Steve sighed, and ran a hand through his hair one last time, before releasing Bucky from his arms.

"You gonna shower?"

"Yeah," Steve unstrapped his suit, and started peeling it off his sweaty body.

"Yeah," Bucky repeats, intelligently, watching with quiet fascination. He cleared his throat, "Can I, uh." Steve looks up at him just then, and Bucky felt the need to step back, "Can I join you?"

"Sure." He said, with an unexpected air of nonchalance, "Help me with this zipper, would you?"

Steve had this special talent for getting the shower at the perfect temperature. It sort of pissed Bucky off in a completely unreasonable way, but he can hardly stay upset when Steve laughs at his pout.

The water is warm, and soothing to Bucky's nerves, and the smell of Steve's shampoo was sweet, and clean, and the bubbly water cascaded beautifully down Steve's chest where Bucky rested. Bucky watched the suds slip down his torso, over the ripples of his abs, placing fingers there to disrupt the stream, then drawing them over his wet, soapy skin.

Steve washed himself like Bucky wasn't even there, and when he finished, he ran his hands over Bucky's back, and held him for a moment, "I don't think you understand the purpose of showering, honey."

"Course I do," Bucky drawled, still resting against Steve's chest, opening one eye to look up at Steve, "How do you feel?"

"Little tired," Steve murmured into his hair, "The haircut was a good surprise."

"You must have a fetish," Bucky murmurs, lips curling into an easy smirk.

"Do not," Steve grumbled, "just missed that dimply smile of yours, is all. Hard to see it under all that hair."

"Mmm," Bucky pulled back a little, and gives Steve a little smile.

"Not that one," Steve whispers, holding Bucky's chin gently between his thumb and forefinger, "You get dimples with my smile."

"Hmmm," Bucky sighs, "which one is yours?"

"It's the one you can't help." Steve leans down, and presses his mouth, ever so gently, against Bucky's. "The smiles that are impossible for you to hold back."

James mouth still has that quirk to it at the corners, he raises a brow lazily, perhaps subconsciously, "And do I get one of yours in return?"

"Of course," Steve lowers his mouth to Bucky's, lips brushing softly against his, "Pick any one you like, they're all for you."

Bucky smiles against Steve's mouth, and Steve turns them, placing Bucky beneath the shower's warm spray; a thumb strokes across Bucky's cheekbone, and with a deep husky chuckle that resonates in Steve's chest, an inch is between their mouths, a soft whisper caressing James' lips in their stead, "There's my smile."

Bucky throws an arm around Steve's neck, and drags him in for a rougher kiss, a hungry kiss, and Steve responds in like, his soapy hands slipping down Bucky's naked body to draw him in closer.

 

* * *

 

"Steve," Bucky whispers, "Steve, sweetheart, wake up." He strokes a thumb across Steve's cheekbone.

"Mmm, Buck... What's wrong, angel?"

"I need help with the buttons." He whispers, a little embarrassed.

Steve pushes himself up into a sitting position, trying to summon wakefulness faster than his body wished to allow, and Bucky smiles, holding still as Steve's hands straighten his collar, starting on the buttons. "It's so early."

"It's an hour drive," James whispers, "and Miss Potts is there by five."

Steve's brow creases, and he nods, finishing off the buttons, and starting on his tie while Bucky tucks his shirt in. "You look sharp." Steve whispers, smoothing his tie against his chest.

"Thanks, Stevie," he whispers, leaning forward to peck his lips gently. "I'll be back tonight. You go back to sleep, yeah?"

Most mornings were like that, especially for the first week. Sending him off to work with a little kiss, welcoming him back home with another kiss, a plate of supper that needed to be reheated in the microwave, and an hour of cuddling until James was falling asleep on him. James loved working as a bodyguard, especially for someone as highly esteemed as Miss Potts. Happy was equally pleased to have someone as knowledgeable and experienced with security as James was, though James kept most of his secrets of how he obtained that knowledge to himself. He suspects Happy has a thing for Miss Potts, it's not hard to see, but the feeling didn't seem to be mutual, and James can empathize with him, though they rarely spoke. Unrequited love is a bitch. It hurt like nothing else he can imagine, and James is no stranger to pain. Unfortunately, not every story can have a happy ending, and he was doomed to watch this suppressed affection nearly every day.

Working for a government agency was very taxing, in more ways than one, and there's a hell of a lot of things he can't tell Steve at the end of the day. Secrets, so many secrets, so many lies to tell, and locks to pick. Pepper is a joy, though, a frazzled, overworked woman with the work ethic of a bulldozer who deserves one hell of a foot rub after dominating a set of heels for hours on end. That woman was a queen.

Not to mention she seemed to, quite literally, be able to breathe fire - which was pretty fucking badass, and hell, if she wasn't trying to lay low about all this extremis shit, she wouldn't even need a bodyguard.

James is very pleased to see that the world has become more friendly to women. They no longer had to bat their eyelashes to get some fabricated level of respect that usually ended in gross stereotyping and objectification - even for the most highly esteemed women in his day. While that was still a problem, not surprisingly, at least in the workplace, women got respect, and when they didn't, well, James has a few choice words for the unlucky bastard who happened to do it within his earshot.

He really did like his job, quite a lot, but between his hours, and travel time, it drains him. He has Sundays off, and he spends most of that time sleeping, most often against Steve, but a couple times on the couch with Beau, being waken only for food, and cuddling, in that order. Steve seemed equal parts proud and concerned, and endlessly patient with him.

A few times after James had adjusted to his new job, he'd stayed at Stark Tower overnight, spending long hours on the phone with Steve instead, though it wasn't the same. Sleeping alone after months of being together was miserable, as well as uncomfortable. Steve's bed was too big, and too hot without Bucky there to even out his temperature, but Steve can't bear to ask him to make that drive every day. It was too much. Bucky's exhaustion is too much, and Steve's first priority is Bucky's health and safety, and asking him to drive home sleepy is too much, it's where Steve finally draws the line.

Steve was watching a movie when Bucky stumbled through the door, still managing to look devastatingly handsome in his suit, even tired, and mussed from the long day. He climbs onto the couch beside Steve, instantly lying against him, and sighing.

Steve put an arm around his shoulders, and James' full body relaxed with a soft, tired groan.

Within minutes, Bucky is asleep, and that scares Steve to death. It would only take one accident to lose him forever, and Steve would not be responsible for that.

He tugs at Bucky's tie while they still rest on the couch, and James stirs enough to look at him when Steve's hands start at his shirt buttons.

"Yeah," Bucky sighs, "We can do this," he drags Steve in for a clumsy kiss, then tilting his head back to expose his neck, whispers, "Kiss me here."

Steve humors him for three, slow, open-mouthed kisses to his very sensitive neck, before pulling away. "You need your sleep." Steve whispers, stopping himself before he can get carried away, ignoring the stir of interest in his groin. He can settle that in the shower.

"Yeah." James agrees sleepily. "Okay."

Steve sweeps him up bridal style, and Bucky put his arms around Steve's neck, and allows himself to be carried him to the bedroom without complaint. Once on the bed, Steve had trouble keeping him in an upright position long enough to coax his jacket and shirt off, and before he can get to his undershirt, James curled up on the mattress, moaning softly.

"M'so fuckin' tired."

Steve pulls Bucky's feet into his lap, and eases his shoes off, placing them beside the bed. A glance upward tells him Bucky isn't asleep yet, watching lazily through half lidded eyes. Steve leans across his legs to open his suit pants, tucking a hand under his lower back to support his weight as he tugs on his trousers. A heavy hand on the back of Steve's head presses his face down, and he chuckles against Bucky's stomach, pressing a kiss there. "Enough of that, sleepyhead."

James summons the energy to grin, and it's lopsided and adorable, he lifts his hips for Steve, who helps him yank his trousers off, and adds them to the other pieces. Steve moves in to give Bucky a goodnight kiss, and when he tries to pull away, James' arms go around him, and holds him against his chest:

"Mine," he breathes, letting a tired smile curl on his lips.

Steve kisses it, "Well, 'mine' needs to go turn the TV off."

Bucky frowns, and Steve gives him one last kiss, before he slips away.

Bucky was fast asleep by the time he got back, and he took the time to hang up Bucky's suit before curling up against him in the bed.

Something needed to change.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to all for your patience and support!


End file.
